A valiant woman who can find?
Her price is far beyond corals.
"You can't be what you cant see" Jo Saxon declared at Equal yesterday. As she talked about the lack of available mentors and how many women have to grieve that the mentor they've wanted has just not been there. Essentially I feel this is because we are still undervalued, under-resourced, under-represented.
It left me in an emotional turmoil - where are the ardent Christian feminist activists in their 60's who can pass on their wisdom and experience to me? They may well exist and act as role models, but they are not sufficient in number to be readily available as mentors. And what about my daughter what sort of crazy world is she growing up in? Where I find myself making up rules like "she's not aloud to watch TV without one of her parents providing a running de-constructive cometary". I don't generally think of myself as an anxious parent, but I have to be careful with my developing neurosis about the next ten years or so of my daughters life. I start to get fearful of whether I will be able to fight back the in-pending tide of body dimorphic messages, limiting horizons courtesy of Felicity Wishes, and general self-loathing coming her way.
What has any of this got to do with Proverbs 31 verse ten? I hear you cry. Well it was against the backdrop of this swirl of thoughts that this verse suddenly read so differently for me. I have always found this verse difficult; it can read in a very condemning tone. Clearly the implication is that valiant women are rare. It's a bit how I feel reading articles discussing the lack of women in senior positions that take a blaming tone, a "well the opportunity's there if women aren't taking it, it's there own fault" narrative, this is how I've responded emotionally to this verse previously.
Coming to it today already asking the question 'where are all the valiant women?', suddenly this verse meant something very different. Suddenly it echoed the yearning in my heart to see women being powerful, being creative and being present in every area of our human existence.
The second half of the verse has also at times caused me tension. Price, price? Women are not objects to be purchased! But again, perhaps this is exactly what the verse is saying. In a culture where women where bought into marriage this verse is a stark reminder that no one has the wealth necessary to purchase a human life. So even if money or goods have been exchanged that in no way entitles ownership.
So the description of a valiant woman starts of with an acknowledgement of the yearning many might feel as they look around at near-eastern literatures that celebrate women only for their physical beauty or Greek literature celebrating the silent homebody spouse, for a fuller, freer and more human portrait of women.
So a Proverbs 31 community gives representation of and therefore vision to capable and powerful women. In a world of Cosmo and Good Houskeeping, Bratz and Heart Lake City, how do we do this? In their relative absence from media, politics, professions and the church pulpit how do we give vision to women so that they have permission to be all God made them to be? Can we be what we can't see? And does that seeing need to be real life examples or will our own prophetic imagination do the trick? I would love to know your thoughts.
It left me in an emotional turmoil - where are the ardent Christian feminist activists in their 60's who can pass on their wisdom and experience to me? They may well exist and act as role models, but they are not sufficient in number to be readily available as mentors. And what about my daughter what sort of crazy world is she growing up in? Where I find myself making up rules like "she's not aloud to watch TV without one of her parents providing a running de-constructive cometary". I don't generally think of myself as an anxious parent, but I have to be careful with my developing neurosis about the next ten years or so of my daughters life. I start to get fearful of whether I will be able to fight back the in-pending tide of body dimorphic messages, limiting horizons courtesy of Felicity Wishes, and general self-loathing coming her way.
What has any of this got to do with Proverbs 31 verse ten? I hear you cry. Well it was against the backdrop of this swirl of thoughts that this verse suddenly read so differently for me. I have always found this verse difficult; it can read in a very condemning tone. Clearly the implication is that valiant women are rare. It's a bit how I feel reading articles discussing the lack of women in senior positions that take a blaming tone, a "well the opportunity's there if women aren't taking it, it's there own fault" narrative, this is how I've responded emotionally to this verse previously.
Coming to it today already asking the question 'where are all the valiant women?', suddenly this verse meant something very different. Suddenly it echoed the yearning in my heart to see women being powerful, being creative and being present in every area of our human existence.
The second half of the verse has also at times caused me tension. Price, price? Women are not objects to be purchased! But again, perhaps this is exactly what the verse is saying. In a culture where women where bought into marriage this verse is a stark reminder that no one has the wealth necessary to purchase a human life. So even if money or goods have been exchanged that in no way entitles ownership.
So the description of a valiant woman starts of with an acknowledgement of the yearning many might feel as they look around at near-eastern literatures that celebrate women only for their physical beauty or Greek literature celebrating the silent homebody spouse, for a fuller, freer and more human portrait of women.
So a Proverbs 31 community gives representation of and therefore vision to capable and powerful women. In a world of Cosmo and Good Houskeeping, Bratz and Heart Lake City, how do we do this? In their relative absence from media, politics, professions and the church pulpit how do we give vision to women so that they have permission to be all God made them to be? Can we be what we can't see? And does that seeing need to be real life examples or will our own prophetic imagination do the trick? I would love to know your thoughts.
I think there's some truth on that phrase 'you can't be what you can't see' but it's not the whole story because there are pioneering women who have challenged the status quo, who have just got on and done what they are called to even though they don't have role models and mentors. If they hadn't nothing would ever change. Some of it's about permission - we look for women who have gone before us as a sign that we are allowed to do what we long to do. But sometimes I think the only person who we really need permission from is ourselves.
ReplyDeleteAgree with you whole heartedly about pioneering women. And sometimes we don't need to see others do exactly what we want to just need to see their daring. I am inspired by women who have become great mathematicians, heads of states, climbers of Everest etc. While having no desire to be any of those things (ok so I'd quiet like to stand at the top of Everst, have a secret desire to be an accountant and wouldn't say no to being PM but point remains!)
ReplyDeleteit's great to have forums and communities like the Sophia network too that give us permission and remind us that Jesus has and is giving us permission.