"Men find their value in being strongest. Women find their value in being prettiest."

This is part of a series in which I'll be exploring gender differences suggested by readers. To find out more about the series click here. 

So here we go our first suggested inherent gender difference. 

Is it true of all men and women? 

You can vote as to whether you think it's true just to the left. 

I think this statement is evidently not true of all people. I for one have no need to be prettiest my feeling's about being pretty are summed up in this fabulous poem, the audience reaction to which makes me think I'm not the only one. I know several men who don't seem to communicate any need to be the strongest. 

But let's see what the vote tells us.

Is it true of most women and men?

If this statement was preceded by the phrase 'our current cultural narrative tells us...' I'd be inclined to agree with it. But the fact that this is the dominant story line in our media doesn't mean it is the lived experience of the majority of people. I would be very interested if anyone had any references to research exploring where people find their value. I think generally there has been a shift  in recent history from people finding their value in what they do to finding their value in what they own. (I'm not sure either is great). 

So without a big piece of social research we have no definite answer to this question.

Is it the teaching of scripture?

If indeed this is a genuine pattern in the world is it one created by God or is it one that we should 'not conform to'? Where does the bible say we should find our value? I think for most of us the first answer that comes to mind is 'in Christ'. 

Does the bible instruct women to put their energy into being 'pretty'? I was blogging through a series on Proverbs 31  which I will get round to finishing at some point. So far I haven't found any encouragement towards calorie counting, mirror gazing or face painting. 

1 Peter 3:3-4 and 1 Timothy 2:9-10 Would both suggest that there is active discouragement in scripture for women to pursue 'prettiness'.

What about a quest for strength? Their are certainly many male characters in the bible described as strong, with whole stories surrounding their strength. But was David primarily given as an example of someone strong or was he remembered for for being 'a man after God's own heart'.?

And what about Christ? There was huge expectation on him, we are so often told in sermons, to lead a rebellion and with the use of strength overthrow the occupying forces. He didn't, in fact he did very little in his ministry that required physical strength. 

But I think the biggest issue I have with the statement above is in the little suffix 'est'. What happened to the first being last and the last being first? What happened to the equality of all humans before God? Considering others better than ourselves? What happened to the being one body of different parts? Being 'strongest' or 'prettiest' necessitates competition between us. Sound's more like patriarchy than God's Shalom to me. 

I'd say this is a good example of why it's so important to define what we believe it means to be human before we define what it means to be a man or a woman. 

In summary I am fairly convinced that whether or not this is an experienced reality it is not encouraged by the example of Christ or scripture. As Christians we believe we are children of God that is where we should place our value. We value others equally because they are our neighbor and equally precious.