Proverbs 31:11-12 - Marriage: a co-operative community

The heart of her husband trusts in her; 
he does not lack "spoil."

She does him good and not evil 
all the days of her life.

According to the commentary I am reading, this Proverb 'assumes that the husband has founded the home on a sound economic foundation; within that context his wife can settle down and function to her maximum capacity.' Does it? I see no evidence of this and these verse seem to say the exact opposite. She brings in the 'spoil' - a  deliberate use of a military term  - and he lacks nothing. In fact on a plain reading of Proverbs 31 there is nothing to imply that the husband, whoever he is, is economically productive in any way. 

I have been quite surprised at how hard I've found it working part-time and in my head I struggle not to view this as not pulling my weight economically. No one around me seems to mind. When I was working full-time and my husband part time however....

I got so sick of the unwanted sympathetic comments, as if it hadn't been a decision we took together and that I was having to work because he wasn't 'man enough'. 

I object also to my commentary's assertion that the reason for the husbands trust is that she provides and brings him good. I think this verse definitely implies a connection or correlation between the two but we are reading something into it  to imply the provision causes the trust. That would not be a very liberating message and one of the reasons I stalled on these verse for so long. I think that it could just as easily be read that because he trusts her and gives her the freedom to be fully human she brings him goods and spoil. 

My feeling is that in these two verse we get a little glimpse of the inter-dependency these two people practice. He does not use his societal given power to dominate and rule but chooses to trust her rather than control her and she flourishes and shares that productivity. In a lovely virtuous circle. (Do you know I bet their sex life is an explosive egalitarian pleasure party too!)

So a Proverbs 31 community is one that allows for and encourages households to function as cooperative communities rather than hierarchies. 

Do you know if our archetype for the family was a co-operative community I'd be cheering people on when they suggested that the problem with society was the breakdown of family, rather than cringing - in fact maybe that's what we need a change in paradigm about what 'family' is.